I'm The Goddamn Frank Miller Movie

As you all know, I hate Zak Penn, why Marvel keeps hiring him to write their movies I'll never know. What many may not know is I'm not much more fond of Frank Miller, the apparent god of all comic book fanboys. I'm told he's written some good books. With exception of Batman: Year One, I've never been impressed. I've read The Dark Knight Returns and I can't honestly see whats so great about it. I think its a horrible book, but that's just my opinion, maybe it is actually good.

So having read and not liked that book, I don't bother with his other opus' such as Sin City, Ronin, 300, and so on and so forth. Likewise, I'm not a big fan of the Sin City movie. However, 300 was okay, but I credit that more to Zach Snyder, because he's awesome.

Anyway, aside from his minimal effort on the Sin City movie, Miller has been active in film before. Someone allowed him to write the script for Robocop 2, which was deemed unfilmable and went through many rewrites (and still sucked). He was allowed to return to write Robocop 3, which didn't go through any rewrites and sucked harder than part two.

Well, I guess time erases memories for some, because Lionsgate not only allowed Miller to write the script for The Spirit, they went ahead and let him direct it too. I'm sure if you've seen the previews you're probably thinking 'man, this looks good awful', or 'man, this looks like a Sin City ripoff'. And you'd be right. Miller, though claiming to respect Will Eisner's character, has created nothing more than a hackneyed pseudo-Sin City sequel, all while ruining any chance of The Spirit being made into a good movie by a good filmmaker.

I know Miller hates Hollywood and like the asshole that is Alan Moore (maybe more on him later as the Watchmen story develops), blames them for all their shortcomings, but I just don't understand why he turned his so called friends prized and beloved character into celluloid shit. I really feel bad for Gabriel Macht, the actor who plays the Spirit. He's a good actor deserving of a starring role, and because of this crapfest, he'll probably sink back into obscurity. I don't feel so bad for Sam Jackson, I kinda feel like I could get him to show up to star in my home movies. I wonder if he has ever turned down a role.

Thankfully, America as a whole made sure to reaffirm how we feel about Frank Miller being involved in film by making it seventh place in the box office. Yep, Marley & Me beat it. I don't even know what that movie is about except for it starring a yellow lab. Then again, Marley & Me also beat Brad Jolie's new movie, which is good since he's a prick anyway. I mean c'mon, tell me Angelina is hotter than Jennifer Aniston and I'll call you a fucking craptard to your face. But I digress, because Mr Angelina and Mrs Brad could be the subject of a whole other blog too.

To sum up, I'm just happy to see Miller's latest and hopefully last attempt at film making bomb like Hiroshima. Couldn't happen to a better guy. Now if DC Comics would just cancel that god-forsaken All-Star Batman & Robin series he is consistently late and sucky on. Only Frank Miller can make me hate Batman, or err, the goddamn Batman that is.







For more on a kidnapping, child-abusing, womanizing, asshole to the extreme Batman, please go pick up All-Star Batman & Robin, I promise you'll regret it as much as everyone else who read it and dropped it immediately afterward. The issues come out fairly irregularly as Miller seems to hate deadlines, but I imagine a whole lot time just opened up in his schedule for him to ruin Batman some more.


UPDATE: The Spirit opened in 9th place. Even better. Natch.